im really sorry I post mostly depressing journals on DA, truly I am. im not here for pity, this is just the only place I can really vent. anyway, the reason I write this. im a lonely mess of a person. just recently, a very close friend of the very few I have has pushed me out of her life for no reason and no goodbye. it broke my heart knowing how disposable I am. that's the worst kind of loneliness, when someone you could never forget has forgotten you so easily.......boy.....everyone i know and love either uses me or leaves me....what a life. but since this has happened many many times already, im used to the pain. it hurts a lot but again, used to it. if shes reading this, i want her to know how happy she made me when we were friends and i wish her a great future! i really wish u didn't leave me but i shouldn't be selfish.....at least i still have one friend that i don't think will ever leave me or use me and that's
who i am very honored to be friends with. i may only have him as a friend, but one friend is better than none. in fact, he has the kindness and respect of twenty men! i see him as a brother who i would give my life for without a second thought. so to you, i thank you with all my stitched up heart for dealing with me and being my brother. i know i will have to stay strong and continue on as i normally do but for now, im going to cry and let it all out, remembering the time and memories. its unhealthy to bottle it up so after this, i move on. i will not forget you as easy as you forgot me, i never forget anyone. i could never wish this feeling on anyone not even Cheryl. that's all i have to say but i want to end this with i hope you guys never EVER feel this bad and if you do, you must stay strong for yourself and your future. you have to keep on hoping, hope is one of the strongest things that keep us alive. see it as after every storm, theres a rainbow. remember, you matter. also don't take your friends for granite, enjoy every second with them! if its okay to ask, id like you to go to your friends and tell them how much they mean to you and thank them for being in ur life. can you do that for me?